kale and ginger juice?

Maybe she does have a secret after all!

USA Today: Stephen Moyer: 'True Blood' set mimics 'Biggest Loser'

every little bit counts

Very proud of myself today.

I had a doctors appointment this morning. So my plan was to do my first thing in the morning hike afterwords, but when I was headed to the appointment the weather was blazing. I've been going really hard with my exercise for a week and a half and I'm due for a muscle recovery day. So I decided today would be that day. But a break day for me still means walking. No bumming it on the couch for me. So, I added in 45 minutes of walking on top of what I do around town anyway.

Also, I'm going out to dinner with friends tonight, which means today will also be my indulgence day for the week. But for me, indulgence day means I still have to eat reasonably that day even if I'm not maintaining my usual calorie count. So I planned an even smaller than usual breakfast and lunch. And I stuck to it. EVEN though we went to my favorite cafe for lunch, and I REALLY wanted that waffle, I chose something within my calorie plan in anticipation of a larger than usual dinner tonight.

I rock. Go me. Onward to skinny.

stats, weight and daily calorie counts

I am replacing my weekly progress report with a daily calorie and exercise count. I think knowing that I will have to post that information every day will be extra motivation. I will also update weekly with the result of my Thursday weigh-in. Check it out in the tab above, or here.

Wish me luck and stay skinny!

pic of the week: exactly where I want to be and what I want to be doing right now

summer: bring it

For more inspirational pics check out my weheartit.

me sabotaging me

So, when I weighed myself today my weight went down a little bit, to 146.8, but it's still not as low as it was a couple of weeks ago. Whatever, I'm a big girl, I told myself I wasn't going to get discouraged as long as I was losing. But still, in the back never-quiet corners of my paranoid brain I was thinking “What gives?”

Well, I was diligently doing my food diary and calorie count tonight, and since it was the 31^st, I went back and looked at my daily totals for the month. Low and behold, I stuck to my goal only a third of the days.

Suckage. Major suckage.

Granted, most of those other days I was only a one or two hundred calories out of that range, I guess thinking since I was exercising two hours that day it was okay.

“Self, isn't that kind of attitude what got you up to 155 pounds in the first place?”

“Oh, yeah.”

“So, isn't the fact you truly stuck to your goal a third of the days, and still managed to lose about 10 pretty amazing?”

“I guess so.”

“Doesn't that mean if you stick to that goal more, the weight will come off faster?

“Sounds logical.”

“And you know that goal is realistic and doable, because you already do it a third of the time AND haven't killed anyone in a hunger rage yet?”

“You know, you're right! The only thing I've been doing wrong is letting my old attitude get in the way. I totally CAN do this. I know what works for me. I just need to stick to it! Thanks self.”

“No problem... uh, self?”

“Yeah?”

“Put down that second taco.”

“Oh, yeah.”

And so, that's that. I'm a total dope. I was getting down on the universe for my lack of progress, and it turns out it's just me sabotaging me. Typical. But I'm in the know now and this little issue won't slip by unobserved again. I planned my meals for the first day of June well within my calorie limit. I'm also considering posting a daily calorie count as motivation.

Onward to awesome!

motivation: sweat pants

Good reason to lose weight:

So you can wear sweat pants and sandals and look like this:

Not this:

Motivated yet? I just put down my fork... to laugh my ass off without stabbing myself in the eye!

totally off topic

She is like the definition of hot mess. All this inspires me to do is take a bath outside, and re-watch Fight Club.

balsamic mushroom heaven

Lunch last week. I got it at a restaurant in Seoul, but it would be so easy to do at home, and you could alter it to be less greasy. It's mushrooms stuffed with balsamic vinegar and garlic, broiled in the oven, topped with greens, lettuce, tomatoes, Parmesan and a little olive oil. (I would have gone easier on the olive oil...)

Mushrooms are very filling to me, so I could eat just this for lunch and be satisfied.

Mushrooms: 30
Balsamic: 10
Garlic: 10
Lettuce: It's freaking lettuce! It's got like 2 calories! Don't count it!
Tomatoes: 10
Parmesan: 25
1/2 tablespoon olive oil: 60
Total: 145 cal

I'm at a human head, where are you?

My goal would be the cheese.

pic of the week: best idea eva!

How have I not thought of this idea yet? Let me do a quick calorie total.

Rice cakes: 70
Peanut butter: 95
Banana slices: 70
Strawberry jam: 40

= Awesome 275 cal lunch!

For more healthy food ideas and inspiring pics check out my wehearit. Stay skinny!

progress report 5-27-2012: hiking breakthrough

Weight: 148.8 = gained 3.3 lbs. Bleh. But I already covered that here and I'm not going to dwell.

Waist measurement: no change. BUT, something's up with that. Yesterday I noticed a pair of jeans that were never tight on me were absolutely about to fall off without a belt. I asked my boyfriend if he could tell a difference and he said "Oh yeah. Your belly is getting tighter." Now that could just be him being a smart and thoughtful boyfriend telling me what I need to hear, but unforgivingly cut J Brand jeans don't lie, so here's what I think. I've been taking my measurement at my traditional waist, the smallest part of the waist, the middle of the hourglass, if you will. I was looking in the mirror and playing around with sucking in my stomach, and I noticed that that particular area isn't going to change much as I lose more weight. Maybe I should start taking the measurement around the biggest part of my belly to see more results. Hmm.

Finally to the good stuff!

Exercise total: 10.75 hours! BAM! Suck it belly! SUCK IT!

(Sorry about that. Gotta celebrate what I can.)

I totally set a goal this week that I would exercise every single day. Two hours at least on the days I could, but at least an hour every day. The stars aligned for my benefit and we've had fantastic weather all week. So off to the hiking trails I jaunt each morning. (I am SO going to miss having a mountain across the street.) The first day was a good, normal 2 hour hike. The second day, I felt a bit weak on my first climb. I took a lot of breaks and drank water, but I pushed through it. By the fourth day I hit my stride, broke through my wall, caught my wind, whatever sporty people call it. It was so glorious. I would get out of breath on climbs. I felt like I was getting a good workout, but I never felt weak. I never felt bad. My body was like, "Oh, this again? Well, let's get on with it then." I did a climb that normally takes me two hours in an hour-and-a-half. I didn't even feel like I had to take breaks. (I mean, I did take breaks. I'm not stupid, but definitely less than before.) And I have been riding that wave ever since. It totally reminds me why I started hiking in the first place. Instead of concentrating on just getting up the next rise, I can notice how the trees are getting really full, I can bird watch, I can try to spot old-growth characteristics of the forest. (Sorry, that's an environmental science major thing). I am totally becoming a hippie and it's great. It feels marvelous and maintainable. At this rate, the results will come. Those blasted things may come slowly, but I know they will. Onward Skinny!

semi-daily menu 5-26-2012

To continue with my not-daily menu posts:

Breakfast: 400 cal
breakfast beans with cheese
veggie omelet (2 egg whites, one yolk, leftover Mexican veggies from dinner last night)
1/3 cup pineapple
coffee with milk

Post-hike lunch: 165 cal
small slice of barley crust veggie pizza
a nap

Post-nap snack: 35 cal
Reese's Peanut  Butter Cup miniature
green tea

Dinner: 500 cal
1 cup Mushroom Muttar Masala curry
1/2 cup basmati rice
a blissful Corona with lime

Total: 1100 cal*

*As careful as I try to be, I'm sure I underestimate. Plus, there are calories I don't count, like my omega 3 pill, and the orange juice I have to take my iron supplement with. (hemoglobin before vanity unfortunately) I consider these to be non-negotiable, so I don't even include them in my count. So I try to aim low, knowing if I really end up eating more, it will still work out in the end.

disappointment as motivation

Today I was totally going to write a post about a breakthrough I had with hiking, but then I did my weekly weigh-in and all that was crushed. My weight went up.

Bummer.

Me on the ride home from work: "I figured last week's 145.5 was a fluke brought on by dehydration, but this week I was at 148.8, exactly where I was two weeks ago! Zero progress in two weeks! I thought I would hang on to at least a little bit of that dip. I've been so good this week with my exercise and calorie count. What's a girl gotta do?" On and on with the dark and stormy thoughts. So, instead of bringing all this negativity home, I did not catch the last leg of my bus transfer. I got out early and took a nice 15 minute attitude adjustment walk.

Why am I flipping out so badly? This isn't my first no-progress week. But it is my first TWO no progress weeks in a row. It's my first dip and gain. This happens, right? This happens to everyone. I'm sure.

So when I got home I checked some of my favorite weight loss blogs, girls who have been successful doing things in a positive way like I do, and yes, they too have had dips. I found this graph of sweethinspration's weight loss to be particularly reassuring. She experienced a LOT of no progress weeks, and even a few upticks in weight, and she still ended up losing a ton of weight. Much more than what I have to lose.

So basically, I need to suck it up, tweak my plan, and keep going. Here are some new ideas I'm going to try:

• Beef up lunch, tone down dinner. Divide lunch into two portions, have one at lunch and another as a late afternoon snack. Do this to: prevent metabolism drops, prevent hangry at work, prevent being so hungry at dinnertime that I do grody things like eat a handful of potato chips while I'm cooking.

• Re-measure everything. I've started to eyeball portions when I'm in my own kitchen. That's a no-no. This morning I found out I was underestimating the milk in my coffee. Whoops. Overestimating everything just a little is a great way to completely sabotage yourself. You know better!

• Start taking and posting more photos. (You're a freaking photographer anyway, right?) I wanted to wait to post before and after photos after I actually made some visible progress. But documenting the journey along the way couldn't hurt. And all this hiking has given you nice tan shoulders and collarbones – show off! It'll make you feel good!

• Exercise EVERY day. Especially food “indulgence” days. Rainy? Do a video. Feel like crap? Change it up – try something new. Hungover? Bad girl! Drink water and then go sweat it out! (I actually don't drink that much anymore, but every now and then...)

• More lean protein, less fat. This is gonna be a toughie until I get back to the States and can get my hands on some protein powder. But I can still get tofu and egg whites here. Gotta make it happen.

• Love, respect and take care of myself, no matter what. Guilt is stupid. Punishing myself is stupid. Just get back on the horse and ride faster!

I can do this! I will do this! Stay skinny out there!

weight loss: going well, relationship communication: need to work on

I'm kind of a weirdo. I carry around a lot of baggage leftover from my childhood. I was treated pretty badly in school. (But, who wasn't?) And my well-intentioned parents left me with a lot of issues. (We all have the same story, right?) And either because of that, or just my natural personality, I tend to hold a lot in. This can be good. I have a lot of inner strength and don't rely on other people for validation and attention. But, it can also be bad. Like when my boyfriend constantly asks what I'm thinking because he can't figure me out. He is a good guy and genuinely wants to understand me. I'm lucky.

I've been considering that problem and sorting it out in my head on my own instead of talking about it. (That's the way I do things, but perhaps that's the source of the problem. It's a bitch.) Over the last few days I've been thinking, “Why don't you tell him you're trying to lose weight? He lives with you. He eats with you. He knows you've become a food measuring freak. He can see you're exercising more. He's not going to sabotage you or become a drill sergeant or anything annoying like that. So, what's the problem? Own up. It'll be good for the coalescence of the relationship. And, bonus, he'll stop encouraging you to buy ice cream!

So, we had just finished dinner and were sitting at our friend's bar waiting for them to show up. We were feeling good and happy, so I thought it would be the perfect time to spill it.

“So, there's been something I've been meaning to tell you-”

Just then our friend's daughter walks in to the bar. I was going to tell my boyfriend about my diet in the interests of the relationship. I'm certainly not about to make it anyone else's business.

“But I'll tell you later, it's not a big deal.”

This, my friends, was a huge mistake. Don't ever do that to your poor boyfriend.

Him whispering: “What is it?”

Me whispering: “Nothing. Don't worry about it.”

Him whispering louder: “I'm going to worry. Just tell me. She doesn't understand much English anyway.”

Me (sigh): “It's just about weight-loss.”

Him practically shouting: “You think I need to lose weight?!?”

So a nice spike in the cortisol levels later, all my good intentions are squashed. (You're forgiven Mom and Dad. I understand how meaning well can co awry.) We did end up sorting it out. A little at the bar and a lot later at home. And he totally gets it and is cool. He loves me the way I am, but he wants me to be happy... and less sweaty and grumpy in summer, so he's down with it. He asked me if I wanted him to help me.

Me: “No, but don't ask me if I want a second slice of pizza. And don't bring me home ice cream.”

Him: “Check.”

pic of the week

gimme gimme, want want

For more awesome inspiration, check out my weheartit.

eat well and still lose weight on vacation

I had a really fun weekend in Seoul. In Korean small towns there isn't a lot of restaurant variety, so Busan and Seoul are really our only chances for Mexican, Thai, Arab, blah blah blah. So I have to take advantage when I can. How does one fit this in with a weight-loss plan? Here's how I do it:

Attitude. I accept that my usual calorie count goal is unrealistic. This is an indulgence weekend. I will indulge and enjoy without guilt. HOWEVER, this is not an excuse to go hog-wild. Think of it more in terms of damage control. Having a nice dinner does not mean having a huge dinner. Letting myself have two drinks with dinner does not mean having 10 drinks after dinner.

Limit starchy white food. While I can't control how much oil they cook the food with, I can control the starch intake at least. When you get Thai, skip the rice, just enjoy the curry. When you get Mexican, no rice or tortilla chips. Same with Indian, unless you're at a place that has really awesome naan or rice, just skip it. (If it's really good, have a bite of your buddy's.)

Subway. Not the restaurant, the public transpo. Usually when we go on a trip, it's just me and my boyfriend. It's so cheap, fast and easy (like your mom! ha ha, JK) we wouldn't dream of using another form of transport when we're in a city that has it available. This time, we were traveling with our friend and her two daughters. She is NOT subway experienced. She hated all the walking to transfer trains and stair climbing. We're used to it, so it doesn't even occur to us to be bothered. Half-way through the trip she said enough and paid for taxis the rest of the time. I hadn't really thought about it before, but riding the metro kind of like doing a bunch of mini-hikes throughout the day. Not enough at one time to get you sweaty, but over the course of the day it adds up. (Especially when you factor in all the other city walking you're doing, maybe all that rich food isn't really so bad after all!)

Okay, so I may not have lost weight this vacation, but I didn't gain either. Plus, I had a great time! Any other great vacation weight-loss tips out there I should be taking advantage of?

Remember to enjoy yourself on your way to awesome!

progress report 5-21-2012

So I was in the store that has the out-of-the-box scale that I use, bumming around looking for a purchase. I didn't have a shopping list that day, so I felt guilty just popping in to pull the scale off the shelf, weigh myself and then not buy anything. I couldn't think of a single blasted thing I needed. My time before the big move is getting so near, I am really being careful about anything I buy. But I was tired and a little dehydrated. So I said fuck it, and weighed myself.

145.5 pounds! Dude! I was more dehydrated than I thought! But still, three more pounds lost is three more pounds lost, so, go me! "Self, how shall I reward myself today? How about a big beautiful Evian! Yeah!" Guilt-free use of the scale, and a nice present for all my hard work, a win-win. Then I started thinking about it. I really have been off with my water drinking, especially with the weather getting warmer. Taking a 1.5 liter water bottle to work would be a great way to keep track of it and make sure I'm reaching my water goal for the day. Usually I hike over to the nearby mountain spring and fill water bottles there, but the ground water in Korea is pretty soft. It's nothing like the super-mineraly well water in the good ol' American South that I grew up on. So, Evian does really taste special to me. Some days here I literally crave it. There's a theory that most food cravings are actually a craving for trace minerals, so maybe there's something to that. Perhaps an Evian will work with the temptation/reward circuits in my brain the same way a dessert would. 

So a (hopefully) once a week Evian treat, refill that bottle with free spring water the rest of the days, 100% calorie-free indulgence, awesome!

Totals for the week:

Weight: 145.5 pounds (an additional 3 pounds lost, bringing the total lost to 9.5 pounds!)

No changes in waist measurement (I weighed myself and took the measurement on different days, so that may be the reason for that.) and I have not kept proper track of my exercise this week. I've been exercising, but have not been writing it down like I should since we went to Seoul for the weekend. More on that later, including a great tips I discovered for getting in your exercise and watching your calories when you're in situations when you're out with other people and can't keep track. Stay skinny! 

the best feeling in the world

After a week off of ballet because of my cold, and still not feeling my best, I had to get back on that horse this week. I usually do two or even three sessions a week when I can fit them in. I couldn't believe it, after a week off, I could tell a difference in my muscle strength and flexibility. If you don't keep it up, you lose it quick! I also was still feeling a little weak and shaky from the virus, and I could tell my balance was off. All that being said, it felt GREAT. I was a little poopy at first, but by the time I was into the tendus, I was focusing on winging, pulling my abs up, holding my hips level, etc., and all my other cares, feelings and stresses started to fade away. Ballet form requires so much concentration on your body, you literally can't think about anything else. It's really the best form of meditation out there. It's also good for self-judgement and self-reinforcement. Before anyone tells me my form sucks, I know. Before anyone tells me I held a balance well, I can feel it. You learn to understand your body better than anyone else.

I always finish feeling super refreshed and glad I did it. I always feel like I learned a little something about my body and pushed my boundaries a little further. (And judging by how sore my legs feel today, it did them some good too.) Get out there and dance. It's the best feeling in the world.

progress report 5-13-2012

I've been sick as a dog this week. I swear I don't work with children. I work with mini-mad scientist germ laboratories. (No really, the kids are great, I just have gotten sick more times since I started this job than I ever was in my life before, total.) While I started out really well this week with my exercise hours, by the time the virus really hit, I barely had the energy for a keystroke. So, surprise surprise when my measurements this week totaled up to:

Exercise: 5 hours (ugh)
Weight: 148.8 pounds (what?)
Waist measurement: .5 inches lost, bringing the total lost to 2 inches (you're joking!)

Seriously? I'm still losing? Even after just laying around as much as possible? I haven't been puking or had a fever.  But I have kept my calorie count constant, which I guess is the main factor. And the consensus out there in internet land is that when you're sick you burn more calories to fight off the infection. Whatever, I'll take it. Not that I want this virus to hang around. The weather has been great this week, and those mountains look great... through the window, from my bed, which I can barely get out of.

Keep it skinny,  no matter how you feel!

make your grocery bag look like this

I know this video has already been going around for a few weeks, but it's so greatI had to share it just in case someone hasn't seen it yet.

Besides having an awesome job, awesome house, an awesome adorable cutie of a boyfriend, and awesome clothes, this chick totally eats in an awesome way. I love the scene where she's shopping at the farmer's market. She fills her bag with fruits and veggies and nothing else. (Which kind of makes sense, being that they usually don't sell slabs of margarine at the farmer's market, but still.) I know it's just a promo video for Zara, but it's still well made and great inspiration. I think about it whenever I'm shopping at the supermarket. What does your grocery bag look like?

Keep it skinny!

the decision to put down the spoon

Check out this clip from the Triplets of Belleville. I know what you're thinking, either, "WTF is that?" or "How can a weirdo French cartoon help me with weight loss?" But trust me, this scene has a great moment that always occurs to me when I'm thinking about having a second helping at dinner. This character is a Tour de France cyclist, so he has to control his weight. His granny helps him rig up a system that lets him know when he's had enough food for one meal, but after the bell goes off, it's his decision to put down the spoon. You can see it in his face and in the reluctant but determined way he sets it next to the plate. He doesn't want to, but he has a goal and he's committed to achieving it. Trust me, it's worth two and a half minutes of your time.

actually, if my food looked like that, not eating would be no problem

When you decide to put down the spoon, do it like that. It feels so final, like you've made that choice, you're strong and in control, and you can do this.

Remember, YOU can make that choice
you ARE in control
you CAN do this.

(BTW, if you've never seen the movie, you should watch the whole thing sometime. It's pretty freaking fantastic.)

heart it

I have recently fallen in love with weheartit and started my own page skinnydancing. It's a service that let's you grab any image you like from the web, categorize it and it maintains the link back to the original page. So in theory, ownership and photo credit are maintained. It's stupid easy to use. Check it out if you like to collect and share images. I use it to share images that inspire me in my weight loss, and just images that inspire me. My current sets are:

thin inspiration
ballet (yeah, I know I have a thing about legwarmers)
photography (just stuff that inspires me in general)
food (great low-cal food photos that link back to the recipes)

and my personal favorite, goal, which is a set of photos that represent where I personally want to be body and fashion-wise in a year. Except this, which is exactly where I want to be and what I want to be doing and what I want to look like this summer:

Look ma, no tan lines!

Check it out, let me know what you think, and start sharing images that inspire you. Stay skinny!

calorie counting help

Counting calories is LAME, but it's what I've had to start doing in order to reach my goal. I'm always on the lookout for anything to make it easier, and the computer program, Calorie Balance, makes it way easier. 

It's freeware, so it's not perfect, but on the whole it works fine for my needs. You type in the foods you eat, and the amounts and it looks in its massive food database and spits out your calories, fats, carbs and other nutrients consumed for the day. You still have to measure your food yourself, ugh, but it's about as easy as it gets. If you have some restaurant entree or exotic new food it hasn't heard of, you can look up the nutritional info on the web and add it to the database. There is supposed to be a feature where it goes looking for you, but it doesn't work. (There are some internet-based calorie tracking programs that do this very well, but you have to live with the fact that your personal information, plus what you eat every day is being stored on someone else's server. Creepy.) The main food chart screen totals all your calories, carbs, fats, sugars, fiber, and protein in an easy-to-understand graph at the bottom. That works very well. There is also a feature where you can choose other nutrients (iron, calcium, etc.) to be tracked on the same graph, but it's pretty buggy. It does track that kind of thing for you, but you kind of have to total it yourself. 

It also has an exercise tracker, which I love. It tracks the calories you burn in different workouts. All you have to enter is the kind of activity ant the time spent, and since it's already keeping track of your weight, it does that calculation for you. Then it takes the calories burned and subtracts it from your total calories consumed, giving you the net figure. (Keep in mind, if you eat 1500 calories, you don't have to do 1500 calories worth of exercise. Your base metabolism rate will take care of a lot of that for you.)

I am a huge geek, so it's been a boon for me. It helps me compare foods, plan out my exercise and know every little thing I am consuming and burning.

Anyway, for absolutely free it's a great tool to try. Read cnet's review and download the program here. The download does ask you if it can install a web toolbar. It's just an ad (everyone's gotta make money right?) you can decline it.

I hope this helps you on your way to awesome!

ballet + skinny jeans = hot

Mental notes:
1. gotta get a pair of those
2. gotta take more dance classes
3. gotta increase the number of men wearing jeans in ballet

Seriously, maybe more dudes would realize dance isn't just for gay guys if we just ditch the whole tights-wearing thing.

progress report 5-06-2012

No perceptible changes in weight or waist measurement this week, which is not surprising. A combination of nearly constant rain this week, and a play birthday weekend in the city of Busan, means my exercise total is about 4 hours this week. Lame.

I actually did a lot of walking in Busan, but I don't count that in my total. For one reason, it's almost impossible to keep track normally, and actually impossible when your focus is debating the merits of the margarita at this or that restaurant. And, the water at the beach was not warm enough for swimming yet. Actually, it's pretty crisp even in August. It's kind of cool that I can say I've swam in three oceans, (and waded in the Mediterranean,) but I can't wait to get my spoiled ass back into the bathtub-warm Atlantic back home.

But anyway, time to get back on that horse this week. Stay skinny!

you do not need 2,200 calories a day

Whenever you look at the dietary intake recommendations from the USDA (the people behind the food pyramid, and MyPlate), keep in mind this organization is run by farmers, people who make money when you overeat. While they are wising up to the idea that too many starches are bad and more vegetables are good, their guides are still more about keeping big agriculture in business and less about keeping you healthy. (Have you ever looked up the ridiculous amount they tell you to eat? Unless you're a bodybuilder, you do not need 2,200 calories day.) I am not the only one saying this. Harvard agrees with me.

“Unfortunately, like the earlier U.S. Department of Agriculture (USDA) pyramids, MyPlate mixes science with the influence of powerful agricultural interests, which is not the recipe for healthy eating,” said Walter Willett, professor of epidemiology and nutrition and chair of the Department of Nutrition. 

Harvard's redesign of MyPlate actually looks like what I try to eat every day, on a lower-calorie basis of course.

This makes way more sense than any of the USDA's current or past recommendations. And it's the way I will continue to eat in the future, to maintain my awesomeness. Check out the article here.

the power of a nap

When I was in college I had a friend who said whenever she got hungry, she just went to sleep. Oh, to have a college schedule. But in all seriousness, it's not a bad idea. When I go hiking, I can't eat lunch. My stomach just can't take it. So when I get home I'm turning inside out with hunger, but I'm also beat, so I take a nap. It's not even anything I do on purpose, my body just needs it. It's the weekend so, why not? But it really is a good idea, because I sleep through a period of time when I might be driven to snacking from honestly earned exercise hunger. Instead I power nap, shower, and it's time for dinner. This would never work during the week, but fortunately on work days I'm better at managing my need to snack. 

So if you have a schedule that allows for a nap, try timing during a time you usually want to snack. Every calorie you skip helps, and the extra sleep will actually help you lose weight. 

Enjoy your zzzz's!

vegetarian Samgyupsal and the liver diet

I'm still beaming about my progress last week. I was actually pretty surprised by the result. My calorie count was actually not as low as I wanted. I had a dinner party with some friends and an obligatory drink-and-bitch session with a friend who is going through a rough time.

The dinner may have not actually affected my calorie count that much though. It was Korean Samgyupsal, which is basically fatback thrown on a grill served with side dishes. Since I'm a vegetarian, I got to let the boyfriend go to town on the pork, and I was stuck with the side dishes. Since I'm trying not to be a total food-measuring weirdo in front of my friends, and not stuffing yourself is SO not done in Korea, I thought I'd play it smart and stick to the things I know to be low cal. So I gorged on grilled mushrooms and garlic wrapped in lettuce and cucumber salad, and took it easy on the potatoes, rice and bean paste. So it was impossible to really track, but I don't think I did badly.

As far as the drinking session, I don't think the alcohol calories did me any favors. However, my crazy teacher friend admitted to me the reason she's lost so much weight lately is because she has been on a "I don't eat anything anymore, I just drink." diet. So I didn't have to worry about her wanting to order food, but I am trying to talk her into changing up her diet before her liver falls out of her body. (I have to admit though, she does look great.)

Stay strong  out there! (...and watch those alcohol calories.)

progress report 4-29-2012: I found a scale!

So, two weeks ago while I was doing some shopping at a local mega-supermarket thing, I came across a shelf of bathroom scales. One had been taken out of the box and looked like it was used pretty regularly. So I thought, what the hell? I put down my bag and shopping basket and weighed myself. It came to 69 kilograms. Being a lazy American, I don't know crap about the metric system. (And being a cheap American, I'm not buying the scale when I'm moving out of the country in two months.) So when I got to work, I did a quick conversion on my computer, and astoundingly, it came to 152.1 pounds! That means I'd lost about three pounds so far! I know that I shouldn't be too excited. You need to weigh yourself consistently, in the same clothes, on the same scale, to really track your progress. So I went back this week, wearing the same shoes and pretty much the same outfit, and did it again. This time I was 68 kilograms, or 149.9 pounds. I know that 2.2 pounds may not seem like much for a week, but if I keep up this rate, I'll be two pounds from my first goal (130 pounds) by the time I go home! Beach trip here I come!

So, from now on my weekly shopping trip will include a weigh-in, and my weekly update will include a weight.

Exercise total: 8.25 hours, awesome!
Weight: 149.9 pounds
Waist measurement: lost another half-inch, which brings the total lost to 1.5 inches

I upped my ab workouts from two to three a week. My personal favorite is the one included in the Yoga Booty Ballet's basic workout. It really hits the lower abs, which are crucial for pulling up in ballet. But, I try new workouts all the time and I'm always on the look out for more! Any suggestions?

It's been a great week! I'm crazy motivated now and I hope you are too. Stay skinny!

top five reasons you need to go hiking right now

1. Hiking is the best burn! A 150 pound person burns almost 500 calories an hour, more if you're carrying a pack.

2. It's not just about the cardio! Hiking also builds muscle, the good kind, in your rear. Nothing puts the butt on the elevator going up faster than hiking. (Trust me, the significant other you already have or are looking for will probably love this more than the weight loss itself ;)

3. It's for everyone! Anyone with reasonably well-working legs can hike. There are low level trails for the less-fit, and you can take it at your own pace. Don't live near mountains? Do an internet search for cross-country trail maps in your area.

4. It's free! Well, within reason. All you really need is a good pair of shoes or boots that have high tread and  ankle support. You might already have something in your closet that will do. The first pair of hiking boots I bought were $40 bucks and they lasted me almost a year, and I hike A LOT.

5. Phytoncides! They may fight cancer, or they may be total crap. Either way, the air in the forest will be cleaner and smell better than anything you'll find in a gym.

Bonus: It's freaking gorgeous. The scenery, the flowers, the wildlife = you actually enjoy getting exercise. Have fun getting skinny!

semi-daily menu

I'm so stoked! Some days I do better than others with my calorie count, but yesterday's menu was well within my limit, full of a variety of foods and nutrients, and even had enough calories leftover for an after-dinner beer, woo-hoo! It's so easy to fall into a routine and just eat the same things everyday. It's a bad idea in general, and a super bad idea when you're restricting your calories. You need variety to make sure you're getting everything you need. Always be on the look out for new recipes and foods. I thought I'd post an occasional day's menu when I think it would be inspiring and useful, so without further ado:

Breakfast

1 scrambled egg with garlic

breakfast beans with cheese

1 tangerine

coffee with milk

Lunch

½ cup muesli with blueberries

¼ cup milk

1 small banana

Dinner

Awesome stir-fry:

   bok choy

   mushrooms

   green pepper

   spring onions

   fresh garlic and ginger

   tofu

   soy sauce

1 well-enjoyed Suntory Premium Malts

I found the trick to a low-oil stir-fry is to put the oil in a cold pan, turn on the heat, add the garlic and ginger. As soon as the spices start to sizzle, add the veggies. When the pan gets really heated and things just start to stick, then add a little water, soy sauce, and THEN the tofu. (The tofu likes to stick to the pan if you add it too soon.) Cover, and let it steam the rest of the way. That way you really can get away with an honest-to-God teaspoon of oil.

So, there you go. All the food groups represented, all nutrients accounted for, just low on the fat and starch. (Though, the occasional high-carb comfort food isn't bad, as long as it's in your calorie limits.) The stir-fry actually ended up being a filling meal. The veggies go a long way, calorie-wise, so you can really load up on them. It lead to a bulkier portion than what I've been eating for dinner lately, so it even felt like a kind of indulgence.

I'm debating whether or not to post my daily calorie goal and actual count. I certainly don't want to encourage anyone with, shall we say, a “psychological eating illness”. I don't even want to write the proper term for fear my blog would show up in a search for it. My limit is not far out of the boundaries for safe weight loss outlined by the USDA, and it certainly isn't going to land me in the hospital if I just do it for a few months. Still, some people might not consider it healthy. So, I'm not sure. Any thoughts?

What I'm definitely NOT going to do is ever go back to the crazy amount I was eating before. Now, when I think about how much I used to consume daily, I can't believe it. I plan to eventually up my intake to a maintenance program of 1800-2000 calories a day, but that won't be until I've truly reached a body I'm happy with.  

it's all about the little things

Counting calories is LAME, precisely measuring out every little bit of food is LAME, but it's what I'm having to do right now. And, it's what I'm going to continue to do until I reach my goal. Mostly it's depressing, (like finding out how small a real portion is), but sometimes it's great, (like finding out there are only 4 calories in a strawberry, holla!)

And sometimes, it's freaking fantastic! Like finding out I eat less that I eat less than a standard portion of grits. A real, satisfying breakfast that I can have with CHEESE, and that I already love, for less than 200 cal? You rock, world!

top five reasons you need to go to a ballet class right now

Ballet is absolutely at the core of my body's transformation. It's something I work at and something I work for. It's an incredible source of inspiration and power, and here are the top five reasons why:

1. Nothing, not a bathing suit, not looking at yourself naked, nothing gives you a better assessment of where your fit situation is right now (and how far you've got to go) than a leotard and a pair of pink tights.

2. Every class you will get stronger, more flexible, more capable of the positions, and more toned. Some people see results faster than others, but you will notice progress in EVERY class.

3. Unless you're a dancer, ice skater or horseback rider you have crap posture. And crap posture means you stand with your belly poked out. Don't believe me? Go to a mirror, look at your profile, and try tucking your butt under and rolling your pelvis forward. Wow, makes a difference, huh?

4. Experience the joy of movement. Think about sprinters and skateboarders and how much fun they have just moving around in space. This simple joy is denied to a lot of un-fit people. Ballet gives you grace, balance and a taste of that joy.

5. The world can be a mean, cruel, competitive place. This is especially true in teenage dance classes. (Adult classes tend to be more relaxed, but as all grown-ups know, just because someone's an adult doesn't mean they act that way.) If you can learn to deal with it there, you can deal with it anywhere. Remember, you are doing this for you. Be strong for you.  

(Seriously though, it doesn't matter what your preferred style of exercise and movement is, just get out there. Do it, love it.)

hangry

This interview with Anna Paquin doesn't reveal any secrets to how she maintains the best little body in the business (seriously, she rocks short and curvy in ways that make the long and lanky jealous.) Instead, she does something I find far more inspiring. She basically admits that there is no "magic pill", no being naturally thin, Hollywood stars have to work just as hard and suffer just as much as anyone to have those figures. But apparently, it's a battle you can win:

...so keep strong!

P.S. Love, love, love her use of my new favorite word, hangry. We all know how that feels, don't we girls?

progress report 4-22-2012

This week's grand exercise total: 7.5 hours, including a glorious 2.75 hour hike today! (Saturday was rainy and bleh, so I didn't even get out of the apartment for the hour of walking that I don't even count in my total, but anyway...)

And, my waist measurement... I've lost an inch. An INCH! In a week! Freaking amazing! Ok, so I'm thinking when I took the original measurement I was a little bloated, and I think when I took the measurement today I was a little dehydrated, but still, it's a freaking inch and I'm taking it. I want another dramatic result next weekend, so I'm already planning in extra exercise this week. Goal here I come!

super sexy thin inspiration

Be still my beating heart.

...on second thought, go nuts! It'll burn more calories.

tip: cheat snack

Tip: have a cheat snack ready. I did not come up with this one, but it is something I have adapted to my needs. My cheat snack is fruit. (My ONLY acceptable snack is fruit.) I keep 1 small apple or tangerine or sliced pear or what-have-you in my bag when I go to work. Usually, I'm cool. I don't need it. So, it becomes my breakfast fruit for the next morning. If I'm faced with a surprise seemingly insurmountable temptation, something that smells or looks so good that my hunger gets churning (see here), then my safe snack is ready to save me with a low-calorie indulgence. Then, no breakfast fruit the next day. No harm done. But most times, just knowing it's there saves me. It's a psychological trick. If your caveman brain knows you have food with you, it won't go seeking food elsewhere. So far, I average eating about one cheat snack a week. That's only 60 calories, instead of whatever high calorie pastry/junk food/crap I was having, like, every other day.

You can make your subconscious your friend instead of your enemy, as long as you know it's dirty tricks.

adaptation

The boyfriend wanted pizza for dinner, so, we had pizza. It was awful! My system was NOT HAPPY. The indigestion was so bad, I may never want pizza again. This is a big change for me. Before, I could have lived on pizza and beer three meals a day every day. It's pretty amazing how fast your system can adapt. I started this low calorie thing only a couple of weeks ago, and already my body is liking it. 

You go, body. I'll be more careful what I surprise you with in the future.

a confession

So.... I don't own a scale. And I can't really justify buying one since I'm leaving the country in two months. The last time I weighed myself was at Christmas when I was at my parents' place, and I guess the next time will be when I see them again in two months. But I want to be able to track some kind of progress until then, so here's my brilliant idea: dental floss. I measured my waist with dental floss, and cut it so it's exactly the circumference of my waist. Every Saturday I'll pull out that piece of floss and if my waist has gotten smaller, I'll be able to cut the extra off. I decided against using a measuring tape, in case the measurement is too discouraging. Instead, I'll just track whatever progress I make.

I suppose this idea would work with string or yarn or anything, but I happened to be staring at my medicine cabinet when the idea occurred to me, so, there you go.

Floss can be cut, but it cannot/will not/cannot grow longer!

invent yourself

What I am today, I deserve it. If I am an example, it’s that of a person who has the power to overcome a hard reality through imagination: each human being has the right to invent his or her life, and to reinvent himself or herself to take on the tyranny of nature. -Aimee Mullins

One of my favorite quotes (ever), from actress, model, Paralympic athlete and all-around hottie Aimee Mullins. 

She achieved all this, with no legs. The rest of us are excuse-less.  

Get on the bike!

My last trip back home I visited my good friend. The poor girl seemed to have nothing but bad news. She still hadn't found a new job and had to give up cool car. She was now riding her bike everywhere. I said how sorry I was for her. Her response, “Bitch, don't be sorry! I've lost 50 pounds!”

I stand corrected.

(I'll keep you updated on her progress. She's quite an inspiration herself!)

closet project

Here's a fun weekend project (not my original idea, but it's a good one), pull out all your clothes and look at them, really look. Anything that looks worn (in a bad cheap way, not a fun shredded knee jeans way), get rid of. Anything you know as soon as you put it on will make you feel dowdy and frumpy, get rid of. Anything that is not of good quality, get rid of. Anything you're keeping “just for sentimental reasons” get rid of. (Do you really need your high school graduation gown taking up space in your life?) Try on what's left and give yourself a good look. Anything that doesn't look awesome, anything that doesn't feel great, get rid of. If you were the kind of person who was going to get it altered to fit better, you would have done that already.

You are better than muffin-top pants. You are better than cheap, pilly rayon blend fabrics. You are better than shot elastic.

What's left in the keep pile? Probably what you wear all the time anyway. Anything that's in the toss pile, you probably never wear, and when you do you regret it about 10 minutes after you leave the house. Why keep it? Recycle/donate/give away. Eliminate it from your precious space.

What's left to do?

Shop and dream. But only buy things with good fabrics and flattering cuts. Things that look good on you now. The other things you think you're not quite thin enough for (YET), wait. Having that one motivational pair of jeans or bathing suit is a worthy idea, but keep it to one item. Fill your life with what makes you look and feel great now. Treat your body and your life like a temple, and it will become one.

awesome sweater and jeans available at tobi

gorgeous yoga inspiration (NSFW)

I've had an off and on relationship with yoga. However, I do a twist similar to this one almost every day. It's great for wringing the stress out of the back that we all seem to carry. And knowing that soon I can do it shirtless and look like this, is great skinny motivation.

Photos: Steven Meisel / Vogue Italia July 2007, via a fun Finnish beauty and lifestyle blog: kaikki mita rakastin

role models

Good tip: adopt a fashion/body role model that suits your build and coloring, so you know when you're dreaming about their clothes and makeup, they will look good on you. Try to choose someone who maintains their weight, not someone who yo-yos. It will be better inspiration.

My favorites:

Charlotte Gainsbourg – damn straight good looking girl, and a snappy dresser

and:

Nina Dobrev – great legs, great attitude and proof that natural brown hair and eyes are hot

What do you think? Who has the looks that would look good on you?

exercise explaination

So, the good ol' USDA recommends getting 1.5 hours of exercise every day for weight loss. That is a LOT for most folks. Fortunately, my current urban lifestyle means a lot of walking. Walking to the store, walking to work, walking to the bus stop, walking out of the apartment before I kill the boyfriend, etc. That adds up to about an hour a day. An hour, done.

To hedge my bets and get to my goal faster, I want to get an additional hour of exercise every day - hiking, biking and ballet are the activities of choice. (This summer, the list will also include the most treasured - swimming!) I enjoy being active, so this is no punishment for me. It can, however be a punishment to my schedule. And, like everyone, I have days where I just don't want to get off the couch.

This is where mind power kicks in. I am strong. I have made a decision. I have set a goal.

To help stay motivated I will post my exercise totals every week, starting now.

This week's exercise total: 7.25 hours

Not bad.

daily battle

Today at work they've broken out the toaster oven, cheap sliced white bread, and the most disgusting, gloppy strawberry-like jam you've ever seen. But as soon as I walk past the manager's room, the smell of toasting bread hits me like a baseball bat. I don't let it tell me I'm hungry, but it does smell tempting. My boss asks me “Do you want?” in the most friendly way. She doesn't understand the problem she's caused. I know it's just the toaster oven fooling me into thinking that pseudo-bread is going to taste good, but it's all I can do to politely say no, finish my copies and run back to my room. I know it's not real bread with real butter and real jam actually made from strawberries. I know I can have some water and wait out the last couple of hours before I go home and have real dinner. I shut the door against the smell. This is my choice. I am strong.

wear what you like

"Eat to please thyself, but dress to please others." - Benjamin Franklin

I don't want to tell ol' Ben he got it wrong, but he so did. Here's my edit:

"Eat what you want, wear what you like, and screw everyone else's opinion."

I currently live and work in South Korea, culture and beauty-standard opposite land. Americans want to be tan and fit. Here, they want to be pale and waify, resembling a disjointed doll apparently. But that's cool, cultural differences are cool. You like what you like.

One afternoon I show up to work after a great morning hike, one where I actually managed to get some sun. I think I look good with a tan. My skin looks more even, it brings out my cheekbones, and freckles are awesome. So I'm happy, feeling swank, and my boss says, "Oh, you look tired." Which in Korea means, "You look like an old lady who has been out gardening. That's the only way we get tan here."

So, in Ben's opinion I should fold to the local expectation and rock my paleness. Or, in my opinion I should say, "Bitch, I got a tan! I look good!"

Ok, so I didn't actually say that to my boss. But I still rock my tans whenever I manage to get them here.

Always look good for you.

the reason I'm here

I am not thin. I am average. I've been average since before the start of puberty. I'm 5'7" and about 155 pounds. It's an ok BMI according to whoever decides the healthy BMI thing, but it doesn't feel good. I feel chunky, squeezed into my clothes. My body type means I have good legs, but a wide middle. I hate it. I'm tired of it. I'm ready to do what it takes to change. I want that feeling of slipping into clothes and knowing I look good, not that I need to change again and find something more flattering. I have a lot of good things in my life, a lot I want to accomplish and feeling this way is distracting me.

I'm a big eater. I eat good food, vegetarian, high quality, but I do EAT. A lot. I try to balance it out with exercise, but it's obviously not enough, because I keep staying the same size.

I am strong, I am worthy and I'm a good person. I can do this. Here's my new plan:

1. Three meals a day, small, high quality, balanced. Maybe a small dessert after dinner if something REALLY good is available. No snacking. Ever.

2. Limit of only 2 alcoholic drinks per day. Max.

3. Maintain my exercise routine of one additional hour of exercise a day.

4. For freaking sake, drink more water.

Goal number 1: 130 pounds

The last time I was at this weight, I remember that as a time I felt ok about my body. I'm working to get back to that. Once I'm there, we'll see. I want to think my ultimate goal is 120 pounds. That is on the low end of of the healthy BMI range for my height, but still healthy.

This is simple, easy, and maintainable. I can do this. I've been operating on this plan for a week now, and I can already tell a difference in the way my belly feels. I feel less bloated after a meal. Less full. It feels great.

So, why the blog? I really believe that for weight loss to work, you can't tell anyone what you're doing. You can't share it with your family, your friends, your boyfriend, your co-workers, no one. The pressure of meeting other people's expectations will sabotage you. But I'm too giddy about the whole thing to not tell anyone. And I'm sure along the way I will need support and encouragement, and when I succeed maybe my journey will inspire someone.

Also, I believe it's important not to talk about how others view you. I am not doing this because I want other people to like me. I am doing this for me. No one else. You. No re-enforcement based on what others think. The best way to do this is to only think about how you look at yourself and how you feel.

My plan is to do this positively. No negative re-enforcement. You will never find the "f" word on this blog. No mean girl talk. I will only share (and only want to hear) inspiration, motivation, good advice and tips. The point of getting skinny is to feel good, not bad.

The journey begins. Awesome awaits!