the reason I'm here

I am not thin. I am average. I've been average since before the start of puberty. I'm 5'7" and about 155 pounds. It's an ok BMI according to whoever decides the healthy BMI thing, but it doesn't feel good. I feel chunky, squeezed into my clothes. My body type means I have good legs, but a wide middle. I hate it. I'm tired of it. I'm ready to do what it takes to change. I want that feeling of slipping into clothes and knowing I look good, not that I need to change again and find something more flattering. I have a lot of good things in my life, a lot I want to accomplish and feeling this way is distracting me.

I'm a big eater. I eat good food, vegetarian, high quality, but I do EAT. A lot. I try to balance it out with exercise, but it's obviously not enough, because I keep staying the same size.

I am strong, I am worthy and I'm a good person. I can do this. Here's my new plan:

1. Three meals a day, small, high quality, balanced. Maybe a small dessert after dinner if something REALLY good is available. No snacking. Ever.

2. Limit of only 2 alcoholic drinks per day. Max.

3. Maintain my exercise routine of one additional hour of exercise a day.

4. For freaking sake, drink more water.

Goal number 1: 130 pounds

The last time I was at this weight, I remember that as a time I felt ok about my body. I'm working to get back to that. Once I'm there, we'll see. I want to think my ultimate goal is 120 pounds. That is on the low end of of the healthy BMI range for my height, but still healthy.

This is simple, easy, and maintainable. I can do this. I've been operating on this plan for a week now, and I can already tell a difference in the way my belly feels. I feel less bloated after a meal. Less full. It feels great.

So, why the blog? I really believe that for weight loss to work, you can't tell anyone what you're doing. You can't share it with your family, your friends, your boyfriend, your co-workers, no one. The pressure of meeting other people's expectations will sabotage you. But I'm too giddy about the whole thing to not tell anyone. And I'm sure along the way I will need support and encouragement, and when I succeed maybe my journey will inspire someone.

Also, I believe it's important not to talk about how others view you. I am not doing this because I want other people to like me. I am doing this for me. No one else. You. No re-enforcement based on what others think. The best way to do this is to only think about how you look at yourself and how you feel.

My plan is to do this positively. No negative re-enforcement. You will never find the "f" word on this blog. No mean girl talk. I will only share (and only want to hear) inspiration, motivation, good advice and tips. The point of getting skinny is to feel good, not bad.

The journey begins. Awesome awaits!