me sabotaging me

So, when I weighed myself today my weight went down a little bit, to 146.8, but it's still not as low as it was a couple of weeks ago. Whatever, I'm a big girl, I told myself I wasn't going to get discouraged as long as I was losing. But still, in the back never-quiet corners of my paranoid brain I was thinking “What gives?”

Well, I was diligently doing my food diary and calorie count tonight, and since it was the 31^st, I went back and looked at my daily totals for the month. Low and behold, I stuck to my goal only a third of the days.

Suckage. Major suckage.

Granted, most of those other days I was only a one or two hundred calories out of that range, I guess thinking since I was exercising two hours that day it was okay.

“Self, isn't that kind of attitude what got you up to 155 pounds in the first place?”

“Oh, yeah.”

“So, isn't the fact you truly stuck to your goal a third of the days, and still managed to lose about 10 pretty amazing?”

“I guess so.”

“Doesn't that mean if you stick to that goal more, the weight will come off faster?

“Sounds logical.”

“And you know that goal is realistic and doable, because you already do it a third of the time AND haven't killed anyone in a hunger rage yet?”

“You know, you're right! The only thing I've been doing wrong is letting my old attitude get in the way. I totally CAN do this. I know what works for me. I just need to stick to it! Thanks self.”

“No problem... uh, self?”

“Yeah?”

“Put down that second taco.”

“Oh, yeah.”

And so, that's that. I'm a total dope. I was getting down on the universe for my lack of progress, and it turns out it's just me sabotaging me. Typical. But I'm in the know now and this little issue won't slip by unobserved again. I planned my meals for the first day of June well within my calorie limit. I'm also considering posting a daily calorie count as motivation.

Onward to awesome!