every little bit counts

Very proud of myself today.

I had a doctors appointment this morning. So my plan was to do my first thing in the morning hike afterwords, but when I was headed to the appointment the weather was blazing. I've been going really hard with my exercise for a week and a half and I'm due for a muscle recovery day. So I decided today would be that day. But a break day for me still means walking. No bumming it on the couch for me. So, I added in 45 minutes of walking on top of what I do around town anyway.

Also, I'm going out to dinner with friends tonight, which means today will also be my indulgence day for the week. But for me, indulgence day means I still have to eat reasonably that day even if I'm not maintaining my usual calorie count. So I planned an even smaller than usual breakfast and lunch. And I stuck to it. EVEN though we went to my favorite cafe for lunch, and I REALLY wanted that waffle, I chose something within my calorie plan in anticipation of a larger than usual dinner tonight.

I rock. Go me. Onward to skinny.

stats, weight and daily calorie counts

I am replacing my weekly progress report with a daily calorie and exercise count. I think knowing that I will have to post that information every day will be extra motivation. I will also update weekly with the result of my Thursday weigh-in. Check it out in the tab above, or here.

Wish me luck and stay skinny!

me sabotaging me

So, when I weighed myself today my weight went down a little bit, to 146.8, but it's still not as low as it was a couple of weeks ago. Whatever, I'm a big girl, I told myself I wasn't going to get discouraged as long as I was losing. But still, in the back never-quiet corners of my paranoid brain I was thinking “What gives?”

Well, I was diligently doing my food diary and calorie count tonight, and since it was the 31^st, I went back and looked at my daily totals for the month. Low and behold, I stuck to my goal only a third of the days.

Suckage. Major suckage.

Granted, most of those other days I was only a one or two hundred calories out of that range, I guess thinking since I was exercising two hours that day it was okay.

“Self, isn't that kind of attitude what got you up to 155 pounds in the first place?”

“Oh, yeah.”

“So, isn't the fact you truly stuck to your goal a third of the days, and still managed to lose about 10 pretty amazing?”

“I guess so.”

“Doesn't that mean if you stick to that goal more, the weight will come off faster?

“Sounds logical.”

“And you know that goal is realistic and doable, because you already do it a third of the time AND haven't killed anyone in a hunger rage yet?”

“You know, you're right! The only thing I've been doing wrong is letting my old attitude get in the way. I totally CAN do this. I know what works for me. I just need to stick to it! Thanks self.”

“No problem... uh, self?”

“Yeah?”

“Put down that second taco.”

“Oh, yeah.”

And so, that's that. I'm a total dope. I was getting down on the universe for my lack of progress, and it turns out it's just me sabotaging me. Typical. But I'm in the know now and this little issue won't slip by unobserved again. I planned my meals for the first day of June well within my calorie limit. I'm also considering posting a daily calorie count as motivation.

Onward to awesome!

progress report 5-27-2012: hiking breakthrough

Weight: 148.8 = gained 3.3 lbs. Bleh. But I already covered that here and I'm not going to dwell.

Waist measurement: no change. BUT, something's up with that. Yesterday I noticed a pair of jeans that were never tight on me were absolutely about to fall off without a belt. I asked my boyfriend if he could tell a difference and he said "Oh yeah. Your belly is getting tighter." Now that could just be him being a smart and thoughtful boyfriend telling me what I need to hear, but unforgivingly cut J Brand jeans don't lie, so here's what I think. I've been taking my measurement at my traditional waist, the smallest part of the waist, the middle of the hourglass, if you will. I was looking in the mirror and playing around with sucking in my stomach, and I noticed that that particular area isn't going to change much as I lose more weight. Maybe I should start taking the measurement around the biggest part of my belly to see more results. Hmm.

Finally to the good stuff!

Exercise total: 10.75 hours! BAM! Suck it belly! SUCK IT!

(Sorry about that. Gotta celebrate what I can.)

I totally set a goal this week that I would exercise every single day. Two hours at least on the days I could, but at least an hour every day. The stars aligned for my benefit and we've had fantastic weather all week. So off to the hiking trails I jaunt each morning. (I am SO going to miss having a mountain across the street.) The first day was a good, normal 2 hour hike. The second day, I felt a bit weak on my first climb. I took a lot of breaks and drank water, but I pushed through it. By the fourth day I hit my stride, broke through my wall, caught my wind, whatever sporty people call it. It was so glorious. I would get out of breath on climbs. I felt like I was getting a good workout, but I never felt weak. I never felt bad. My body was like, "Oh, this again? Well, let's get on with it then." I did a climb that normally takes me two hours in an hour-and-a-half. I didn't even feel like I had to take breaks. (I mean, I did take breaks. I'm not stupid, but definitely less than before.) And I have been riding that wave ever since. It totally reminds me why I started hiking in the first place. Instead of concentrating on just getting up the next rise, I can notice how the trees are getting really full, I can bird watch, I can try to spot old-growth characteristics of the forest. (Sorry, that's an environmental science major thing). I am totally becoming a hippie and it's great. It feels marvelous and maintainable. At this rate, the results will come. Those blasted things may come slowly, but I know they will. Onward Skinny!

disappointment as motivation

Today I was totally going to write a post about a breakthrough I had with hiking, but then I did my weekly weigh-in and all that was crushed. My weight went up.

Bummer.

Me on the ride home from work: "I figured last week's 145.5 was a fluke brought on by dehydration, but this week I was at 148.8, exactly where I was two weeks ago! Zero progress in two weeks! I thought I would hang on to at least a little bit of that dip. I've been so good this week with my exercise and calorie count. What's a girl gotta do?" On and on with the dark and stormy thoughts. So, instead of bringing all this negativity home, I did not catch the last leg of my bus transfer. I got out early and took a nice 15 minute attitude adjustment walk.

Why am I flipping out so badly? This isn't my first no-progress week. But it is my first TWO no progress weeks in a row. It's my first dip and gain. This happens, right? This happens to everyone. I'm sure.

So when I got home I checked some of my favorite weight loss blogs, girls who have been successful doing things in a positive way like I do, and yes, they too have had dips. I found this graph of sweethinspration's weight loss to be particularly reassuring. She experienced a LOT of no progress weeks, and even a few upticks in weight, and she still ended up losing a ton of weight. Much more than what I have to lose.

So basically, I need to suck it up, tweak my plan, and keep going. Here are some new ideas I'm going to try:

• Beef up lunch, tone down dinner. Divide lunch into two portions, have one at lunch and another as a late afternoon snack. Do this to: prevent metabolism drops, prevent hangry at work, prevent being so hungry at dinnertime that I do grody things like eat a handful of potato chips while I'm cooking.

• Re-measure everything. I've started to eyeball portions when I'm in my own kitchen. That's a no-no. This morning I found out I was underestimating the milk in my coffee. Whoops. Overestimating everything just a little is a great way to completely sabotage yourself. You know better!

• Start taking and posting more photos. (You're a freaking photographer anyway, right?) I wanted to wait to post before and after photos after I actually made some visible progress. But documenting the journey along the way couldn't hurt. And all this hiking has given you nice tan shoulders and collarbones – show off! It'll make you feel good!

• Exercise EVERY day. Especially food “indulgence” days. Rainy? Do a video. Feel like crap? Change it up – try something new. Hungover? Bad girl! Drink water and then go sweat it out! (I actually don't drink that much anymore, but every now and then...)

• More lean protein, less fat. This is gonna be a toughie until I get back to the States and can get my hands on some protein powder. But I can still get tofu and egg whites here. Gotta make it happen.

• Love, respect and take care of myself, no matter what. Guilt is stupid. Punishing myself is stupid. Just get back on the horse and ride faster!

I can do this! I will do this! Stay skinny out there!

progress report 5-21-2012

So I was in the store that has the out-of-the-box scale that I use, bumming around looking for a purchase. I didn't have a shopping list that day, so I felt guilty just popping in to pull the scale off the shelf, weigh myself and then not buy anything. I couldn't think of a single blasted thing I needed. My time before the big move is getting so near, I am really being careful about anything I buy. But I was tired and a little dehydrated. So I said fuck it, and weighed myself.

145.5 pounds! Dude! I was more dehydrated than I thought! But still, three more pounds lost is three more pounds lost, so, go me! "Self, how shall I reward myself today? How about a big beautiful Evian! Yeah!" Guilt-free use of the scale, and a nice present for all my hard work, a win-win. Then I started thinking about it. I really have been off with my water drinking, especially with the weather getting warmer. Taking a 1.5 liter water bottle to work would be a great way to keep track of it and make sure I'm reaching my water goal for the day. Usually I hike over to the nearby mountain spring and fill water bottles there, but the ground water in Korea is pretty soft. It's nothing like the super-mineraly well water in the good ol' American South that I grew up on. So, Evian does really taste special to me. Some days here I literally crave it. There's a theory that most food cravings are actually a craving for trace minerals, so maybe there's something to that. Perhaps an Evian will work with the temptation/reward circuits in my brain the same way a dessert would. 

So a (hopefully) once a week Evian treat, refill that bottle with free spring water the rest of the days, 100% calorie-free indulgence, awesome!

Totals for the week:

Weight: 145.5 pounds (an additional 3 pounds lost, bringing the total lost to 9.5 pounds!)

No changes in waist measurement (I weighed myself and took the measurement on different days, so that may be the reason for that.) and I have not kept proper track of my exercise this week. I've been exercising, but have not been writing it down like I should since we went to Seoul for the weekend. More on that later, including a great tips I discovered for getting in your exercise and watching your calories when you're in situations when you're out with other people and can't keep track. Stay skinny! 

progress report 5-13-2012

I've been sick as a dog this week. I swear I don't work with children. I work with mini-mad scientist germ laboratories. (No really, the kids are great, I just have gotten sick more times since I started this job than I ever was in my life before, total.) While I started out really well this week with my exercise hours, by the time the virus really hit, I barely had the energy for a keystroke. So, surprise surprise when my measurements this week totaled up to:

Exercise: 5 hours (ugh)
Weight: 148.8 pounds (what?)
Waist measurement: .5 inches lost, bringing the total lost to 2 inches (you're joking!)

Seriously? I'm still losing? Even after just laying around as much as possible? I haven't been puking or had a fever.  But I have kept my calorie count constant, which I guess is the main factor. And the consensus out there in internet land is that when you're sick you burn more calories to fight off the infection. Whatever, I'll take it. Not that I want this virus to hang around. The weather has been great this week, and those mountains look great... through the window, from my bed, which I can barely get out of.

Keep it skinny,  no matter how you feel!

heart it

I have recently fallen in love with weheartit and started my own page skinnydancing. It's a service that let's you grab any image you like from the web, categorize it and it maintains the link back to the original page. So in theory, ownership and photo credit are maintained. It's stupid easy to use. Check it out if you like to collect and share images. I use it to share images that inspire me in my weight loss, and just images that inspire me. My current sets are:

thin inspiration
ballet (yeah, I know I have a thing about legwarmers)
photography (just stuff that inspires me in general)
food (great low-cal food photos that link back to the recipes)

and my personal favorite, goal, which is a set of photos that represent where I personally want to be body and fashion-wise in a year. Except this, which is exactly where I want to be and what I want to be doing and what I want to look like this summer:

Look ma, no tan lines!

Check it out, let me know what you think, and start sharing images that inspire you. Stay skinny!

progress report 5-06-2012

No perceptible changes in weight or waist measurement this week, which is not surprising. A combination of nearly constant rain this week, and a play birthday weekend in the city of Busan, means my exercise total is about 4 hours this week. Lame.

I actually did a lot of walking in Busan, but I don't count that in my total. For one reason, it's almost impossible to keep track normally, and actually impossible when your focus is debating the merits of the margarita at this or that restaurant. And, the water at the beach was not warm enough for swimming yet. Actually, it's pretty crisp even in August. It's kind of cool that I can say I've swam in three oceans, (and waded in the Mediterranean,) but I can't wait to get my spoiled ass back into the bathtub-warm Atlantic back home.

But anyway, time to get back on that horse this week. Stay skinny!

progress report 4-29-2012: I found a scale!

So, two weeks ago while I was doing some shopping at a local mega-supermarket thing, I came across a shelf of bathroom scales. One had been taken out of the box and looked like it was used pretty regularly. So I thought, what the hell? I put down my bag and shopping basket and weighed myself. It came to 69 kilograms. Being a lazy American, I don't know crap about the metric system. (And being a cheap American, I'm not buying the scale when I'm moving out of the country in two months.) So when I got to work, I did a quick conversion on my computer, and astoundingly, it came to 152.1 pounds! That means I'd lost about three pounds so far! I know that I shouldn't be too excited. You need to weigh yourself consistently, in the same clothes, on the same scale, to really track your progress. So I went back this week, wearing the same shoes and pretty much the same outfit, and did it again. This time I was 68 kilograms, or 149.9 pounds. I know that 2.2 pounds may not seem like much for a week, but if I keep up this rate, I'll be two pounds from my first goal (130 pounds) by the time I go home! Beach trip here I come!

So, from now on my weekly shopping trip will include a weigh-in, and my weekly update will include a weight.

Exercise total: 8.25 hours, awesome!
Weight: 149.9 pounds
Waist measurement: lost another half-inch, which brings the total lost to 1.5 inches

I upped my ab workouts from two to three a week. My personal favorite is the one included in the Yoga Booty Ballet's basic workout. It really hits the lower abs, which are crucial for pulling up in ballet. But, I try new workouts all the time and I'm always on the look out for more! Any suggestions?

It's been a great week! I'm crazy motivated now and I hope you are too. Stay skinny!

semi-daily menu

I'm so stoked! Some days I do better than others with my calorie count, but yesterday's menu was well within my limit, full of a variety of foods and nutrients, and even had enough calories leftover for an after-dinner beer, woo-hoo! It's so easy to fall into a routine and just eat the same things everyday. It's a bad idea in general, and a super bad idea when you're restricting your calories. You need variety to make sure you're getting everything you need. Always be on the look out for new recipes and foods. I thought I'd post an occasional day's menu when I think it would be inspiring and useful, so without further ado:

Breakfast

1 scrambled egg with garlic

breakfast beans with cheese

1 tangerine

coffee with milk

Lunch

½ cup muesli with blueberries

¼ cup milk

1 small banana

Dinner

Awesome stir-fry:

   bok choy

   mushrooms

   green pepper

   spring onions

   fresh garlic and ginger

   tofu

   soy sauce

1 well-enjoyed Suntory Premium Malts

I found the trick to a low-oil stir-fry is to put the oil in a cold pan, turn on the heat, add the garlic and ginger. As soon as the spices start to sizzle, add the veggies. When the pan gets really heated and things just start to stick, then add a little water, soy sauce, and THEN the tofu. (The tofu likes to stick to the pan if you add it too soon.) Cover, and let it steam the rest of the way. That way you really can get away with an honest-to-God teaspoon of oil.

So, there you go. All the food groups represented, all nutrients accounted for, just low on the fat and starch. (Though, the occasional high-carb comfort food isn't bad, as long as it's in your calorie limits.) The stir-fry actually ended up being a filling meal. The veggies go a long way, calorie-wise, so you can really load up on them. It lead to a bulkier portion than what I've been eating for dinner lately, so it even felt like a kind of indulgence.

I'm debating whether or not to post my daily calorie goal and actual count. I certainly don't want to encourage anyone with, shall we say, a “psychological eating illness”. I don't even want to write the proper term for fear my blog would show up in a search for it. My limit is not far out of the boundaries for safe weight loss outlined by the USDA, and it certainly isn't going to land me in the hospital if I just do it for a few months. Still, some people might not consider it healthy. So, I'm not sure. Any thoughts?

What I'm definitely NOT going to do is ever go back to the crazy amount I was eating before. Now, when I think about how much I used to consume daily, I can't believe it. I plan to eventually up my intake to a maintenance program of 1800-2000 calories a day, but that won't be until I've truly reached a body I'm happy with.  

it's all about the little things

Counting calories is LAME, precisely measuring out every little bit of food is LAME, but it's what I'm having to do right now. And, it's what I'm going to continue to do until I reach my goal. Mostly it's depressing, (like finding out how small a real portion is), but sometimes it's great, (like finding out there are only 4 calories in a strawberry, holla!)

And sometimes, it's freaking fantastic! Like finding out I eat less that I eat less than a standard portion of grits. A real, satisfying breakfast that I can have with CHEESE, and that I already love, for less than 200 cal? You rock, world!

progress report 4-22-2012

This week's grand exercise total: 7.5 hours, including a glorious 2.75 hour hike today! (Saturday was rainy and bleh, so I didn't even get out of the apartment for the hour of walking that I don't even count in my total, but anyway...)

And, my waist measurement... I've lost an inch. An INCH! In a week! Freaking amazing! Ok, so I'm thinking when I took the original measurement I was a little bloated, and I think when I took the measurement today I was a little dehydrated, but still, it's a freaking inch and I'm taking it. I want another dramatic result next weekend, so I'm already planning in extra exercise this week. Goal here I come!

a confession

So.... I don't own a scale. And I can't really justify buying one since I'm leaving the country in two months. The last time I weighed myself was at Christmas when I was at my parents' place, and I guess the next time will be when I see them again in two months. But I want to be able to track some kind of progress until then, so here's my brilliant idea: dental floss. I measured my waist with dental floss, and cut it so it's exactly the circumference of my waist. Every Saturday I'll pull out that piece of floss and if my waist has gotten smaller, I'll be able to cut the extra off. I decided against using a measuring tape, in case the measurement is too discouraging. Instead, I'll just track whatever progress I make.

I suppose this idea would work with string or yarn or anything, but I happened to be staring at my medicine cabinet when the idea occurred to me, so, there you go.

Floss can be cut, but it cannot/will not/cannot grow longer!

exercise explaination

So, the good ol' USDA recommends getting 1.5 hours of exercise every day for weight loss. That is a LOT for most folks. Fortunately, my current urban lifestyle means a lot of walking. Walking to the store, walking to work, walking to the bus stop, walking out of the apartment before I kill the boyfriend, etc. That adds up to about an hour a day. An hour, done.

To hedge my bets and get to my goal faster, I want to get an additional hour of exercise every day - hiking, biking and ballet are the activities of choice. (This summer, the list will also include the most treasured - swimming!) I enjoy being active, so this is no punishment for me. It can, however be a punishment to my schedule. And, like everyone, I have days where I just don't want to get off the couch.

This is where mind power kicks in. I am strong. I have made a decision. I have set a goal.

To help stay motivated I will post my exercise totals every week, starting now.

This week's exercise total: 7.25 hours

Not bad.

the reason I'm here

I am not thin. I am average. I've been average since before the start of puberty. I'm 5'7" and about 155 pounds. It's an ok BMI according to whoever decides the healthy BMI thing, but it doesn't feel good. I feel chunky, squeezed into my clothes. My body type means I have good legs, but a wide middle. I hate it. I'm tired of it. I'm ready to do what it takes to change. I want that feeling of slipping into clothes and knowing I look good, not that I need to change again and find something more flattering. I have a lot of good things in my life, a lot I want to accomplish and feeling this way is distracting me.

I'm a big eater. I eat good food, vegetarian, high quality, but I do EAT. A lot. I try to balance it out with exercise, but it's obviously not enough, because I keep staying the same size.

I am strong, I am worthy and I'm a good person. I can do this. Here's my new plan:

1. Three meals a day, small, high quality, balanced. Maybe a small dessert after dinner if something REALLY good is available. No snacking. Ever.

2. Limit of only 2 alcoholic drinks per day. Max.

3. Maintain my exercise routine of one additional hour of exercise a day.

4. For freaking sake, drink more water.

Goal number 1: 130 pounds

The last time I was at this weight, I remember that as a time I felt ok about my body. I'm working to get back to that. Once I'm there, we'll see. I want to think my ultimate goal is 120 pounds. That is on the low end of of the healthy BMI range for my height, but still healthy.

This is simple, easy, and maintainable. I can do this. I've been operating on this plan for a week now, and I can already tell a difference in the way my belly feels. I feel less bloated after a meal. Less full. It feels great.

So, why the blog? I really believe that for weight loss to work, you can't tell anyone what you're doing. You can't share it with your family, your friends, your boyfriend, your co-workers, no one. The pressure of meeting other people's expectations will sabotage you. But I'm too giddy about the whole thing to not tell anyone. And I'm sure along the way I will need support and encouragement, and when I succeed maybe my journey will inspire someone.

Also, I believe it's important not to talk about how others view you. I am not doing this because I want other people to like me. I am doing this for me. No one else. You. No re-enforcement based on what others think. The best way to do this is to only think about how you look at yourself and how you feel.

My plan is to do this positively. No negative re-enforcement. You will never find the "f" word on this blog. No mean girl talk. I will only share (and only want to hear) inspiration, motivation, good advice and tips. The point of getting skinny is to feel good, not bad.

The journey begins. Awesome awaits!