balsamic mushroom heaven

Lunch last week. I got it at a restaurant in Seoul, but it would be so easy to do at home, and you could alter it to be less greasy. It's mushrooms stuffed with balsamic vinegar and garlic, broiled in the oven, topped with greens, lettuce, tomatoes, Parmesan and a little olive oil. (I would have gone easier on the olive oil...)

Mushrooms are very filling to me, so I could eat just this for lunch and be satisfied.

Mushrooms: 30
Balsamic: 10
Garlic: 10
Lettuce: It's freaking lettuce! It's got like 2 calories! Don't count it!
Tomatoes: 10
Parmesan: 25
1/2 tablespoon olive oil: 60
Total: 145 cal

I'm at a human head, where are you?

My goal would be the cheese.

pic of the week: best idea eva!

How have I not thought of this idea yet? Let me do a quick calorie total.

Rice cakes: 70
Peanut butter: 95
Banana slices: 70
Strawberry jam: 40

= Awesome 275 cal lunch!

For more healthy food ideas and inspiring pics check out my wehearit. Stay skinny!

progress report 5-27-2012: hiking breakthrough

Weight: 148.8 = gained 3.3 lbs. Bleh. But I already covered that here and I'm not going to dwell.

Waist measurement: no change. BUT, something's up with that. Yesterday I noticed a pair of jeans that were never tight on me were absolutely about to fall off without a belt. I asked my boyfriend if he could tell a difference and he said "Oh yeah. Your belly is getting tighter." Now that could just be him being a smart and thoughtful boyfriend telling me what I need to hear, but unforgivingly cut J Brand jeans don't lie, so here's what I think. I've been taking my measurement at my traditional waist, the smallest part of the waist, the middle of the hourglass, if you will. I was looking in the mirror and playing around with sucking in my stomach, and I noticed that that particular area isn't going to change much as I lose more weight. Maybe I should start taking the measurement around the biggest part of my belly to see more results. Hmm.

Finally to the good stuff!

Exercise total: 10.75 hours! BAM! Suck it belly! SUCK IT!

(Sorry about that. Gotta celebrate what I can.)

I totally set a goal this week that I would exercise every single day. Two hours at least on the days I could, but at least an hour every day. The stars aligned for my benefit and we've had fantastic weather all week. So off to the hiking trails I jaunt each morning. (I am SO going to miss having a mountain across the street.) The first day was a good, normal 2 hour hike. The second day, I felt a bit weak on my first climb. I took a lot of breaks and drank water, but I pushed through it. By the fourth day I hit my stride, broke through my wall, caught my wind, whatever sporty people call it. It was so glorious. I would get out of breath on climbs. I felt like I was getting a good workout, but I never felt weak. I never felt bad. My body was like, "Oh, this again? Well, let's get on with it then." I did a climb that normally takes me two hours in an hour-and-a-half. I didn't even feel like I had to take breaks. (I mean, I did take breaks. I'm not stupid, but definitely less than before.) And I have been riding that wave ever since. It totally reminds me why I started hiking in the first place. Instead of concentrating on just getting up the next rise, I can notice how the trees are getting really full, I can bird watch, I can try to spot old-growth characteristics of the forest. (Sorry, that's an environmental science major thing). I am totally becoming a hippie and it's great. It feels marvelous and maintainable. At this rate, the results will come. Those blasted things may come slowly, but I know they will. Onward Skinny!

semi-daily menu 5-26-2012

To continue with my not-daily menu posts:

Breakfast: 400 cal
breakfast beans with cheese
veggie omelet (2 egg whites, one yolk, leftover Mexican veggies from dinner last night)
1/3 cup pineapple
coffee with milk

Post-hike lunch: 165 cal
small slice of barley crust veggie pizza
a nap

Post-nap snack: 35 cal
Reese's Peanut  Butter Cup miniature
green tea

Dinner: 500 cal
1 cup Mushroom Muttar Masala curry
1/2 cup basmati rice
a blissful Corona with lime

Total: 1100 cal*

*As careful as I try to be, I'm sure I underestimate. Plus, there are calories I don't count, like my omega 3 pill, and the orange juice I have to take my iron supplement with. (hemoglobin before vanity unfortunately) I consider these to be non-negotiable, so I don't even include them in my count. So I try to aim low, knowing if I really end up eating more, it will still work out in the end.

disappointment as motivation

Today I was totally going to write a post about a breakthrough I had with hiking, but then I did my weekly weigh-in and all that was crushed. My weight went up.

Bummer.

Me on the ride home from work: "I figured last week's 145.5 was a fluke brought on by dehydration, but this week I was at 148.8, exactly where I was two weeks ago! Zero progress in two weeks! I thought I would hang on to at least a little bit of that dip. I've been so good this week with my exercise and calorie count. What's a girl gotta do?" On and on with the dark and stormy thoughts. So, instead of bringing all this negativity home, I did not catch the last leg of my bus transfer. I got out early and took a nice 15 minute attitude adjustment walk.

Why am I flipping out so badly? This isn't my first no-progress week. But it is my first TWO no progress weeks in a row. It's my first dip and gain. This happens, right? This happens to everyone. I'm sure.

So when I got home I checked some of my favorite weight loss blogs, girls who have been successful doing things in a positive way like I do, and yes, they too have had dips. I found this graph of sweethinspration's weight loss to be particularly reassuring. She experienced a LOT of no progress weeks, and even a few upticks in weight, and she still ended up losing a ton of weight. Much more than what I have to lose.

So basically, I need to suck it up, tweak my plan, and keep going. Here are some new ideas I'm going to try:

• Beef up lunch, tone down dinner. Divide lunch into two portions, have one at lunch and another as a late afternoon snack. Do this to: prevent metabolism drops, prevent hangry at work, prevent being so hungry at dinnertime that I do grody things like eat a handful of potato chips while I'm cooking.

• Re-measure everything. I've started to eyeball portions when I'm in my own kitchen. That's a no-no. This morning I found out I was underestimating the milk in my coffee. Whoops. Overestimating everything just a little is a great way to completely sabotage yourself. You know better!

• Start taking and posting more photos. (You're a freaking photographer anyway, right?) I wanted to wait to post before and after photos after I actually made some visible progress. But documenting the journey along the way couldn't hurt. And all this hiking has given you nice tan shoulders and collarbones – show off! It'll make you feel good!

• Exercise EVERY day. Especially food “indulgence” days. Rainy? Do a video. Feel like crap? Change it up – try something new. Hungover? Bad girl! Drink water and then go sweat it out! (I actually don't drink that much anymore, but every now and then...)

• More lean protein, less fat. This is gonna be a toughie until I get back to the States and can get my hands on some protein powder. But I can still get tofu and egg whites here. Gotta make it happen.

• Love, respect and take care of myself, no matter what. Guilt is stupid. Punishing myself is stupid. Just get back on the horse and ride faster!

I can do this! I will do this! Stay skinny out there!

weight loss: going well, relationship communication: need to work on

I'm kind of a weirdo. I carry around a lot of baggage leftover from my childhood. I was treated pretty badly in school. (But, who wasn't?) And my well-intentioned parents left me with a lot of issues. (We all have the same story, right?) And either because of that, or just my natural personality, I tend to hold a lot in. This can be good. I have a lot of inner strength and don't rely on other people for validation and attention. But, it can also be bad. Like when my boyfriend constantly asks what I'm thinking because he can't figure me out. He is a good guy and genuinely wants to understand me. I'm lucky.

I've been considering that problem and sorting it out in my head on my own instead of talking about it. (That's the way I do things, but perhaps that's the source of the problem. It's a bitch.) Over the last few days I've been thinking, “Why don't you tell him you're trying to lose weight? He lives with you. He eats with you. He knows you've become a food measuring freak. He can see you're exercising more. He's not going to sabotage you or become a drill sergeant or anything annoying like that. So, what's the problem? Own up. It'll be good for the coalescence of the relationship. And, bonus, he'll stop encouraging you to buy ice cream!

So, we had just finished dinner and were sitting at our friend's bar waiting for them to show up. We were feeling good and happy, so I thought it would be the perfect time to spill it.

“So, there's been something I've been meaning to tell you-”

Just then our friend's daughter walks in to the bar. I was going to tell my boyfriend about my diet in the interests of the relationship. I'm certainly not about to make it anyone else's business.

“But I'll tell you later, it's not a big deal.”

This, my friends, was a huge mistake. Don't ever do that to your poor boyfriend.

Him whispering: “What is it?”

Me whispering: “Nothing. Don't worry about it.”

Him whispering louder: “I'm going to worry. Just tell me. She doesn't understand much English anyway.”

Me (sigh): “It's just about weight-loss.”

Him practically shouting: “You think I need to lose weight?!?”

So a nice spike in the cortisol levels later, all my good intentions are squashed. (You're forgiven Mom and Dad. I understand how meaning well can co awry.) We did end up sorting it out. A little at the bar and a lot later at home. And he totally gets it and is cool. He loves me the way I am, but he wants me to be happy... and less sweaty and grumpy in summer, so he's down with it. He asked me if I wanted him to help me.

Me: “No, but don't ask me if I want a second slice of pizza. And don't bring me home ice cream.”

Him: “Check.”